Vampires, Wizards, and Witches, Oh My!
by TotallyRandomADHDChick
Summary: - A snippet from True Damnation - Bella and the Cullens have a movie night...with Harry Potter.


Author's Note: My Bella from True Damnation, watching Harry Potter with the Cullens. Since there are no actual Covenant characters, this is going to be non-crossover.

I need positive reinforcement, people!

* * *

"Soooo..." I began, fidgeting on the couch. My god, Alice was _this _close to me and did breathing space mean anything...I wasn't even going to finish thinking that question, it was so dumb. "Movie night with teen vampires...what, exactly, do you watch?"

If they said Queen of the Damned, I was going to bust a gut laughing.

"Harry Potter."

Instead, I found myself choking on popcorn.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

Murphy, did anyone ever tell you that your laws so totally _suck? _Because they do. To the nth power.

Harry Potter.

Gah.

"Bella, darling," Edward's soft voice invaded my hearing and mental monologue, "Are you alright?" He sounded worried, as if I were glass and he'd dropped me on plush carpet. I wasn't broken, but I might have a crack or two.

Try a thousand, except not the cracks he was thinking of. No, try a thousand cracks in my soul, the one that would shatter in a year's time. Not that I was _bitter _about it or anything. It wasn't like, once I hit eighteen, I would been yanked from Edward forever, because he was too damn stupid to turn me now. Nope, he just had to give me 'time to be young, to find myself'.

Yeah...how about no, thanks?

'Cause, ya see, I'm not exactly...

Yeah. Whatever.

Just wait, Edward. You'll come to find out, and you'll regret, just as I'm regretting right now.

"Bella?" He asked again, and I realized I still hadn't answered his question. Instead, I was still staring at his perfection, his beauty...or at least, he probably thought so. Anyone else would, with the way my eyes were glued to him.

...Yeah, that's right, I'm too wrapped up in his beauty to pay attention to the world. It has nothing to do with thinking or my internal monologue or, you know, anything _intelligent. _Nope, not a bit.

Shit. There I go again, losing track of the world around me.

"Sorry, Edward," I gave him a gentle smile, "You're just too pretty to listen to while I could be staring." At least, that's what I wanted to say, in my dry and sarcastic tone, the one my family was familiar with.

Instead, I said, "Sorry, Edward, I zoned off again."

Rosaline gave a snort, and Edward shot her a look that basically said, 'I know what you're thinking and you'd best not say it aloud, or hell will rein down.' It was a look I recognized from my brother, except he could – literally – make hell rein down upon me...

I'd always wanted to dance in hellfire and brimstone, so it wouldn't be that bad of a thing, really.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella? You seem rather...spacey." Leave it to Alice to say negative comment but mean it so innocently that it wasn't an insult. So...cute. Too bad she was a formerly insane vampire who had vision of the future and would be put down like a dog the second she stepped onto family land. Otherwise, I might have taken her home for a family reunion, if only for the novelty.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just...Harry Potter?" I cast a skeptical look to my face, then bit my lip, knowing I shouldn't ask the next question but wanting to have fun, anyway. "Is it, uh, real? You know, the witches and wizards?" I cleared it up when everyone cast a blank look at me.

Silence...then Emmett's laugh boomed inside the house. Ha! Someone besides me thought it was funny! Not that I was laughing openly. Bad form for keeping my identity hidden. "What? It could happen! Vampires are real, after all!" And so are demons, angels, hell, heaven, werewolves, shapeshifters, skin walkers, ghosts, and warlocks (with one witch).

The Hookman, though, is not real.

Unless you're Reid.

Then it's real.

"No, Bella, witches and wizards aren't real." Edward told me, a smile stretched across his face as he held back a laugh...and here I thought a vampire would have more self control.

Even Rosaline was giggling now.

Yeah, well, BITE ME, you dirty vampires!

Actually, do.

Bite me, that is.

I'd really rather be a vampire, so I could stay with Edward.

Well, shit.

Sounds like a bad romance book...

Vampire and human-turned-vampire-in-the-end, together forever.

And don't forget the miracle child that magically appears, finishing off the white-picket fence atmosphere!

….

I'd rather have black wrought iron with decorated fence posts.

Much more attractive.

Oh, look!

Harry is casting a spell!

Giggle.

"Bella, is something the matter?" Jasper asked, looking at me strangely.

Shit.

He can read emotions. Gotta cap those amused giggles around him, even mentally.

This would be sooooo much easier if I told Edward the truth. Of course, then _my _family would have to kill him and _his _family, 'cause we aren't as accepting as the Cullens. They gave me a chance to live, even thought I knew their secret.

My family ain't so nice, and not just because the Cullens are vampires.

Oh, wait.

That's _exactly _why my family hates the Cullens.

Vampire are half-demon spawn, according to the Book. Well, a quarter-spawn, really. See, this demon got busy with some necromancer a long time ago, when small amounts of magic were still found in regular humans. The half-demon necromancer apparently got busy with a zombie. Somehow, someway that I'd rather not think about, half-demon necromancer gets knocked up (by a friggin' zombie...ewwww).

The baby was the first vampire.

Hello, baby vampire.

Goodbye, grown vampire.

See, my family has had power for a _very _long time. We got rid of all those nasty demons and most of the vampires, too, or at least the uncivilized ones. The others, the civilized, blended in, and my ancestors didn't bother looking. Too busy killing real demons, I guess.

Anyway, a whole bunch of vampires were created, and my family went into hiding, and the vampires kinda forgot about us...so here I am, under the radar.

"I'm sorry, Jasper, I just thought of a joke my friend told me revolving around Harry Potter." I apologized. Bad form, interrupting a movie.

Alice sent me a small smile, "It's okay, Bella. We've seen the movie before, anyway."

I gave her a confused glance, "Then why are we watching it? Surely there are other things we can watch..."

Alice shrugged, "Its a good movie. We can watch something else, if you'd like."

"No, no, its fine." I gave a smile, "This movie has good memories to it – I won't mind watching it again."

With that, I settled down and watched through half hooded eyes, lost in the memories of the first time I'd seen the movie – and the things my brothers had said.

God, but I miss them. No matter how many new member of my family I gain – like the Cullens and Charlie and Reene – I will always, always feel a little lost without them.

Edward sighed and pulled me closer to him, and I thought, maybe, just maybe, that the lost feeling was worth it.

Ah, hell, no it ain't. Who the hell am I trying to kid?

Dammit, I needed Reid here to make comments, and Tyler here to cuddle with, and Caleb here to tell Reid to shut up, and Pogue here to tease me mercilessly.

Instead, I had a cold, dead vampire boyfriend. I guess I would just have to settle.

...

God, Harry Potter is such a geek.


End file.
